As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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