Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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