Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
