ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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