You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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