ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
