You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
