Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
