new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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