Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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