but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
