3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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