he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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