The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
