apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
