He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if only i could text you this smell
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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