i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
