there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize