you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
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I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
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Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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