my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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