You made me cry and you don't even care
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
