Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
