Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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