You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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