Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
