Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
