I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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