the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize