Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
