You're my little dorito
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize