I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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