lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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