I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
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He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
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My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Congratulations! We have a period
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