There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
