did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
