It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
