I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize