That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
