It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
