They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
