so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Drunk is not a location!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
