So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Randomize
