11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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