Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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