It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
