so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
