so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
