Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
