she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
