Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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