She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
