??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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