so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
