Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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