How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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