$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
