He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
