You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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