Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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