Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
