I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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