I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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